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A Prayer for the Lost But calm reflection will show that destiny was to blame for Actaeon's misfortunes, not any guilt on his own part; for there is nothing sinful in losing one's way. -The Metamorphoses of Ovid, Book III, completed AD 8, trans. Mary M. Innes, Penguin Books, London, 1955. Lord, You already know how this prayer ends, though I have not yet written it. You see through it just as You see through me from beginning to end, witnessing each weakness and error without a single omission, without the occasional lapse of attention that might allow one such transgression to slip by unnoticed. This bothers me not in the least for the error I bring to You now is so ubiquitous that You would have to have turned Your back to me all the seconds of my life for You to remain unaware of it. This sin of which I speak is not listed among the deadly sins. You did not urge Moses to warn us against it when he committed to stone Your commandments. No, this sin that so heavily rests on my conscience is only having lost my way, a common foible, without distinction, to be sure. I find no instruction for redemption from this error in the books that fill Your sacred tome. Instead, I discover comfort in the words of a contemporary of Your holy son, an ancient heathen, who tells me again and again, "there is nothing sinful in losing one's way." Lord, I have lost my way. If Ovid was right and there is no error to forgive, then grant me the serenity to accept that I am adrift, without hope of reclaiming my bearings. If Ovid was wrong and losing one's way is, in fact, a sin, even a venial sin, then allow me to accept that I have lost Your grace, and drain from me the drive to rediscover it for today I have behind me an entire life, epitomized by this absence of direction, and to abandon this principle now seems a greater betrayal than closing myself to You. |
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A Prayer for the Lost David Keffer Knoxville, TN October 13, 2014 |